Still taking micro-action

Quite honestly, I haven't felt like taking micro-actions toward some of my 'terricitifying'* goals in the last 24-36 hours.  I think part of this is because of true priorities and obligations.  I do say part since I know some of the distractions have been fear/overwhelm paralysis.

Feelings are not facts.  Feelings are a side effect of thoughts, whether conscious or subconscious.  Those thoughts are based on perception and experiences and core belief.  So, I guess I have to examine what my thoughts are . . . *HUGE SIGH* . . . and what may be contributing to those particular thoughts . . . which seems like a distraction and further procrastination. And now here I am writing another blog post about what seems like nothing but might actually be something.

Which brings me to Jenny Lawson, author of 'Furiously Happy' and 'You Are Here', the latter of which I began reading a few minutes ago as a diversion from working on something else. LAUGH OUT LOUD funny! Nearly pee-my-pants funny. What is exciting and frustrating and inspiring is I think I could both write and illustrate a book almost exactly like this.  Why haven't I? Should I start now? Why not?  My why not list is probably huge . . . and includes: This would be a waste of time. What would be the benefit? Lawson has already done it. My drawings wouldn't be like hers. (Duh. They'd be like mine, doofus.) Stop calling yourself names and stop discrediting or considering the worthlessness of your creativity. Maybe it is just an experiment. Yes, but shouldn't I be doing something that is more productive or effective or at least unique? Stop shoulding all over yourself. Being whimsical or free spirited and not producing is not inherently bad. You don't have to make money with every output and effort. Give yourself some grace and space. 

Yes, I just had my internal dialogue out blogloud. Yes, I just made up the word blogloud.  Basically, it means I didn't say it out loud yet I wrote it and am intending to publish to the internetworld which is 'out loud' in public airspace. Right? Who knows.

Microactions taken regardless of not feeling like it:
*blogging something, i.e. writing and getting stuff out of my head
*researched a few materials for a project idea I really want to see become fruitful (its been in progress or on the shelf for 2+ years)
*took an extra/last minute dog-sitting job to make a little extra money
*ordered some materials for said project idea (!!!!!)

I don't even want to publish this because it is a brain spasm in typed form, but my friend Coach Des Ahrens says JUST PRESS PUBLISH. Okeeeeee.

*Terricitifying word credit goes to Coach Allegra Stein. It fits.

#microaction #terricitifying #shoulding #justdoit #blogloud #ineedacoach #explore #experiment #graceandspace #justpresspublish

Action taken! BOOM!

I have been so inspired this week and the inspiration is propelling me into action, which is terrifying and exciting.  Coach Allegra, look at me go!

Action steps taken:

1) Practiced more 'brush stroke' writing.  Imperfect AND not letting imperfect be the enemy of the good.

 

2) Do today and get it done. Several instances have arisen in the last several days that I could put off action until another day. No. Don't think so much about it...just take care of it.  At work, at home, meeting with friends - doesn't matter - for some reason, pushing it off to some neatly-scheduled time in the future seems to be less stressful. Whatever. #justdoit

3) Take time to fill out some of the goal setting workbook I bought TWO YEARS AGO. Good grief.  It doesn't have to be perfect! JUST DO SOMETHING!

4) Unfollow, unsubscribe, delete, throw away. #letgo of some of the excess to allow space, time, and energy for what truly resonates with my core values.  This has taken form by way of unfollowing some people/events on social media, unsubscribing to enewsletters, deleting (or filing) emails and documents, and throwing away (or donating) items which are not serving a purpose or sparking joy (reference: Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo).

5) Take time to declutter website. Oh my gosh.  Being a Frugal Franny and an incessant learner combined with an interest in creating and crafting and editing can (and often does) make for a time-sucking evening.  And it still isn't the way I want it to be; it is a bit choppy, a little scattered, and isn't updated thoroughly...which is not what I want to present to my clients or to the businesses I want to work with, but at least it is there.

I don't want to write anymore. I want to read and go to sleep. This blog post isn't ending how I "think it should" but I'm too tired or out of descriptive words and decisions for the day . . . so no more. PEACE!

#letgo #KonMari #coachesneedcoaches #inspiration

Lately, I'm struggling to find something.

Well, that's ambiguous. 

Can I start over? Sure, it's my blog.  We're going with it.  Who is we?

OH my gosh. If I really write even half of what is going through my mind, this is going to be a shit show.  Also, I originally started this blog with 'Well, that's ambiguous as hell," but I don't really understand where 'as hell' comes from as a comparator.  And I don't think that is the right use of the word comparator, but it sounds right and I like it.

P.S. I just 'googled' shit show and laughed right out loud. Also, when I'm honest with myself and not trying to filter so much, I do use cuss words - in my head and in real life - and sometimes those words just plain fit the bill.  They cut the mustard.

P.P.S. Now I 'googled' cut the mustard because I want to know where that phrase came from.

I digress. Naturally. Do any of you often have 427 open tabs on your computer browser because you start reading one article and have to look something up, which leads to you another article you want to read and reminds you to add something to your Amazon cart and suddenly you realize you're watching puppy videos and you're late for (whatever is supposedly more important than puppy videos) and have now successfully distracted yourself from whichever task you were ardently attempting to complete an hour and a half ago?

Me neither. 👀

Have any of you read, 'Furiously Happy' by Jenny Lawson?  I laughed so hard out loud reading that book and was recommending it to others before I even completed reading it. I felt a kinship with The Bloggess through her writing style and some of her experiences.  I have to say 'some' of her experiences because, thank you dear God, I have never been sent dead animals in the mail.  Hallelujah, #amiright? Praise Jesus.

And when I say, 'Praise Jesus', I say - er, type, and say in my head - with complete sincerity.  I am thankful to my Lord and Savior that I have never been sent animals in the mail, dead or alive.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah.  I'm struggling to find something. Though the more I consider what it may be, and listen to/watch coaching videos (enter: Allegra Stein, who may or may not know she is now a role model of mine) and chat with people who support and encourage me to balance contentment with experimentation and growth, the more I realize how much I stifle and stymie my own creativity with fear and expectation.

Whoa. Okay, so when I sat down to write this morning, I had no idea what to write about because - guess what? What I am put on the spot, or put myself on the spot, my creativity says, "PEACE OUT." and I'm left with thoughts and feelings of fear, inadequacy, shame (yep), and the list goes on but I don't want to feel depressed because I'm writing about feelings of feeling 'less than'.

So I decided to take some action this week (thanks for the encouragement, Allegra!) and brought some of this up in conversation with friends during 1:1 hangout time.  One of my friends is also a coworker and a wellness coach asked me what my action items were based on our conversation. I said I was going to 1) practice my new brush stroke pens and 2) write something. Anything.

Uh-oh.  Now I have accountability (which I need when it comes to the scary-exciting stuff that will push my out of my creative rut) and I am going to decide whether to start a whole new blog space or if I am going to pivot the current platform to be a space that can house and hold my philosophical and academic wisdom, share travel and engaging experiences, and be strong enough to hold my morning ramblings and less filtered spoutings.

1) Here's the practice - imperfect, yet done.

Here we go...this blog is taking a turn it from which it may never recover . . . in other words, here is a pivot point.  As my awesome friend-coworker-coach says, press publish.  Oh dear.

Hey, folks.  Wellness coaches are real people.  We have a lot going on in our heads, too.  Time to calm the chitter-chatter.  Or at least get some of it out to make space for creativity and growth.

2) publish.

#wellnesscoach #presspublish #writersblock #creativity #accountability